An Unlikely New Year's 3-D Tale...

[egoldste@xxxxxxxxxx (Eric Goldstein)]

At 7:43 PM 12/31/95, Bob Howard wrote:
>Eric you said it makes the Red Button almost as good as a Kodak II!

Hello Bob!

What I _think_ I said was the red button/PS-1 combo was better and cheaper
than a Kodaslide II...

But you have identified a possible _unintentional_ and _inaccurate_
implication from my statement; namely...

That the red button alone is inferior to the kodaslide II...



(FILM WARP WIPE/EERIE MUSIC TO INDICATE TRANSITION TO FABLE SEQUENCE)

An eerie hush has fallen over the list, as the full gravity of this remark
slowwwwwwly sinks in.

"Why, that's impossible!" the good Dr. Georges of Thermulous exclaimed.

All who were assembled about their computers and who bore witness to the
heresy silently nodded their agreement with the good Doktor.

"It is orthochromatically inconceivable!" Dr. Berkowerke blurted, and
immediately launched into an ellaborate and incomprehensable mathematical
proof in support of this position.

"But the Kodaslide II is a Kodak product, and must be superior to the lowly
Red Button in every arguable, enunciatable, excrutiatable detail," intoned
exactly one-half of the <photo-3d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> list in perfect unison.

"But the red button is a Realist product, and is without doubt the finest
stereo viewing aperatus known to the free world, the universe, and all of
God's kingdom," replied the other half of the list with equal
precision,conviction, and valore.

Then, At 7:43 PM on 12/31/95, the kindly Prince Bob Howard wrote:
>The RED Button is superior with or without the (PS-1) supply as it doesn't
>have the flarey metal brightwork inside that the Kodak does. (Also makes it
>harder enlarge openings for 7 perf. slides.)

"He speaks wisely," the fair Maiden DDDalia said calmly, serenely, over the
rising hysteria of the list. "There is much truth to these words. Plus, I
have many more red buttons available than Kodaslides..."

"But what of the View Master Models A through Zee," Count Wolfie and Lady
MaryAnn of Sin-Sin-City cried...

"That's A through _ZED_," the lone voice of Sir Alan was heard from a
distant woods...

"And what of the FEDs, you unruley Cossaks," said Sir Joel of the Alpines.

"And the twin figs, err, rigs" added Sir Michael of Watters.

And just as it seemed that disharmony and chaos would overrun the cyberland
of Three Dee indefinitely, and the checksum match would add airspaces
between the elements of all of the kingdom's achromats, the golden voice of
Sir Jon of Beantown was heard throughout the list...

"Hear me good people of Three Dee," spoke Sir Jon. "Let there not be
dischord any longer, for I bring you all tidings of great joy... A new
viewer will be borne unto us this year, and it shall redeem us all. You
will know it by the three wholely-owned letters: R B T. And for those
faithful to the kingdom of Three Dee, those who are true believers in the
salvation of stereo, it shall be provided to you at cost plus a mere 10%.
Now, rejoice each and everyone of you, and a Happy New Year to all!"

And with that, all who heard the word rejoiced and celebrated the fantastic
idea that no longer would any in the land of Three Dee endlessly argue the
point of which viewer or camera or filter is the better, sharper, clearer,
lighter or brighter than the other. All would be free to enjoy their stereo
photographs for all time to come.

And peace and harmony reigned throughout the land.

Until one day, someone was heard to say...

"Which of the two lenshoods is the better, the kodak or the realist..."



--------------------

Back on medication. T-Minus 40 minutes to 1996 EST... A Happy New Year to all!


Eric Goldstein
egoldste@xxxxxx
_________________

"And so we beat on,
boats against the current,
drawn back ceaselessly into the past."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Great Gatsby"





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