a note from Seymour

[P3D John Bercovitz <bercov@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

The following bounced when John R tried to post it.  Is there a
filter so mean that it would filter out a note from Seymour who
stands shoulder to shoulder with Wheatstone, Holmes, and Rochwhite
and a head above Brewster?

John B

>Date: Mon, 13 Jan 1997 12:29:09 -0600
>From: P3D John Bercovitz <bercov@xxxxxxxxxxx>
>Subject: Re:  "chatter/clutter" and "true believers"

>John R writes:
>> (For instance, Seymour Depthe
>> hasn't had anything to say about his adventures for quite a while. :-)

>Personally, I think it's about time for him to fill us in on the
>past year's activities.  Can you channel for him, John?

Well... OK, but I'll make it brief. (Seymour's kind of a peculiar
character - no telling what some of the newer subscribers might think
of him.)

Actually, between all the time it takes him to read P3D, and the long
hours he spends on his job at the blivet works - there's a world-wide
shortage of three-prong blivets you know [Note 1] - poor Seymour hasn't
had too many adventures lately.

He did suffer a major disappointment a few years ago. I'm sure you all
remember the tabloid photo of that Texas fellow talking with a space
alien. What most people don't realize is that when Seymour sold it to
them, it was actually a stereo photograph. But the folks at the tabloid
would have none of it. "Seymour," they said, "do you realize what will
happen if we print this? People will realize that it's genuine. Result -
worldwide panic! We have to give them that vital element of plausible 
incredulity." [Note 2.] Whereupon they threw out one of the two views, 
and airbrushed the other one to make it look fake. A bitter blow to the 
advancement of 3D, to be sure.

Note 1: Due to the impossibility of their manufacture. In two dimensions
  they work just fine, but as soon as they're moved into our 3-dimensional
  world, they collapse into nonexistence - people derisively refer to them
  as "optical illusions". Naturally, Seymour is just the sort of person
  you'd hire to solve this sort of problem.
Note 2: Much like "plausible deniability", as mentioned in the movie
  "Independence Day", but inwardly directed. As long as people can look
  themselves in the eye (in the mirror, of course) and confidently
  say "there ain't no such animal," there's no real danger of mass hysteria.
Note 3: As always, anything having to do with Seymour Depthe should be
  considered thoroughly disclaimed, loudly and often.

;-)
John R


------------------------------