FW: humor

[scooter@xxxxxxxxxx]

<---- Begin Forwarded Message ---->
From: Gary Shelden <gshelden@xxxxxxxxx>
To: "'scooter@xxxxxxxxxx'" <scooter@xxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: FW: humor
Date: Fri, 16 Feb 1996 09:18:31 -0800



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From: 	Gary Shelden
Sent: 	Friday, February 16, 1996 9:08 AM
To: 	MSI (Everyone)
Subject: 	FW: humor

filling the 'net with useful data....

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>
>
> ** > Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
> ** >
> ** > COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
> ** >
> ** > Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
> ** >
> ** > 2 + 2 = 5 but only for extremely large values of 2.
> ** >
> ** > Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
> ** >
> ** > Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
> ** >
> ** > My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.
> ** >
> ** > C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
> ** >
> ** > C:\DOS   C:\DOS\RUN   RUN\DOS\RUN
> ** >
> ** > <-------- The information went data way -------->
> ** >
> ** > Best file compression around:  "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
> ** >
> ** > The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
> ** >
> ** > BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
> ** >
> ** > The name is Baud......, James Baud.
> ** >
> ** > BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
> ** >
> ** > Access denied--niener, niener, niener!!!
> ** >
> ** > C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
> ** >
> ** > Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
> ** >
> ** > Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
> ** >
> ** > As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
> ** >
> ** > Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
> ** >
> ** > Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
> ** >
> ** > E Pluribus Modem
> ** >
> ** > .. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
> ** >
> ** > Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
> ** >
> ** > A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
> ** >
> ** > An error?  Impossible!  My modem is error correcting.
> ** >
> ** > CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:  Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
> ** >
> ** > Does fuzzy logic tickle?
> ** >
> ** > A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
> ** >
> ** > 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
> ** >
> ** > Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
> ** >
> ** > Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
> ** >
> ** > SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
> ** >
> ** > Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
> ** >
> ** > Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
> ** >
> ** > RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
> ** >
> ** > Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
> ** >
> ** > All computers wait at the same speed.
> ** >
> ** > DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
> ** >
> ** > Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
> ** >
> ** > Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
> ** >
> ** > Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
> ** >
> ** > ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
> ** >
> ** > E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
> ** >
> ** > Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
> ** >
> ** > All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
> ** >
> ** > Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
> ** >
> ** > "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
> ** >
> ** > DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
> ** >
> ** > Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
> ** >
> ** > Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
> ** >
> ** > Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
> ** >
> ** > Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
> ** >
> ** > REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
> ** >
> ** > Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
> ** >
> ** > Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
> ** >
> ** > Read my chips: No new upgrades!
> ** >
> ** > Hit any user to continue.
> ** >
> ** > 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
> ** >
> ** > I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
> ** >
> ** > Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
> ** >
> ** > Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
> ** >
> ** > Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
> ** >
> ** > Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
> ** >
> ** > (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
> ** >
> ** > If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
> ** >      the process of putting them in.
> ** >
> ** > Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
> ** >
> ** > Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with
> ** >      inanimate objects.
> ** >
> ** > Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write, it should
> ** >      be hard to understand."
> ** >
> **
>
><< end of forwarded material >>
>
>
>                         jim    :)
>    *************************************************
>            Practice random acts of kindness.
>         Make time to PLAY, to LAUGH, to DANCE!
>    *************************************************
>    !jimbo.Land! -->   http://www.dnai.com/jimboland
>
>
>
>







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